i can be good at what i set my mind to do (as everyone else could)… nah, at least i’d like to think so. though one thing i could be certain of is that i have also been a master at mismanaging time. this balances out my productivity… sometimes.
there has been always something, either an equally important matter comes up, an errand, an engagement or whatever other stuff that has to be done, however trivial, bottomline is i simply fail to prioritize.
this has been my archenemy since time immemorial. mostly i just end up lolling away… keeping myself in need of constant catch-up. some people thrive in these circumstances, not me… pressure would obfuscate me and i end up looking for ways to not address the problem. hence the cycle. and it has had a ripple effect, ultimately placing me where i am now (which is not at all pleasant). sometimes i get away with just a slap on the wrist but most of the time the repercussions are life altering.
i have reached my limbo and time is making its presence more evident. add to that a support system that is next to nil and i’m golden. it’s numbing to experience being pulled from every side while weighted down with huge burdens up top. was that just an excuse? might be. i know it’s wrong to be envious of other people as some others also have it worse than you do.
where am i headed?
what’s next?
how much further?
how long will it take?
… at this point all i see is more struggle.
is it worth it?
… and more importantly,
do i have a choice?
procrastination… i’m sure getting a handle of this will be a step in the right direction, wherever that may be.
